My heart was broken after I had Olivia, and I realized that I did in fact have to eventually return to work. Seriously, at the time I never thought I would feel okay about our decision, out of necessity, to send her to daycare. I cried, and I cried, and I cried some more. I cried the entire weekend before I was suppose to return back to work. I would hold Olivia while I was nursing her, and just be devastated at the fact that I would not get to be with her all day long anymore. I'm actually tearing up a little bit right now as I write this just remembering that time.
When Olivia was about 8 weeks old, I returned to work. My mother in law, Annette, was an absolute saint. She watched Olivia for two weeks before we sent her off to daycare. I felt like this was a wonderful transition. I knew Olivia was being cared for with so much love that I was fine with my return to work, aside from hating my job at the time. Then at about 10 weeks old, on Valentines Day 2011, Olivia started daycare.
I was a mess the first time I had to drop her off. I felt like I held it together okay while I was at her daycare learning all of the dropping off procedures. Although the teacher, Ms. Maria, now likes to remind me how I was boohoo-ing the very first time I had to drop Olivia off. I really broke down in the parking lot, a big ugly nasty cry on Dave's shoulder.
Poor Dave. Dave knew I was miserable. He was a real champ at just allowing me be miserable, which was what I needed, and not trying to fix the problem. He allowed me to work through all of the emotions of having to return back to work, to a job I was miserable at, and just being there for me to lean on. I know this process was rough and stressful for him, too.
Olivia with one of her very favorite teachers.
Now here we are, today, about 9 months later, and I could not be happier with our decision. I had to realize that this is the point that we are in our lives, and this is the way that it has to be, and we are blessed in so many ways. It took me a while to get here, and there have definitely been some ups and downs, but overall we are happy.
There have been some staffing issues at Olivia's school that we have not always been thrilled about, but every issue we have had or have seen has been fixed pretty quickly. While I would likely give my left arm to be a stay-at-home mother, I also like working, and I'm finally at a job that I genuinely appreciate and enjoy.
Obviously, Ms. Q is a favorite of many.
Olivia love love loves a couple of her daycare providers. So much so that some mornings we get there and she can't get out of my arms quick enough to play and sit on one of her teachers laps. It's funny because other moms who have sent their babies to daycare told me this would happen. At the time I got this advice, I thought, "No way, never, I will never be okay having to send my baby to daycare and not getting to be with her all day." But she is happy, and that means that we are happy.
Olivia is an absolute social butterfly, and I attribute a lot of that to her exposure to different people in her daycare. Olivia has also thrived in being in a room full of babies. She has come home and played in ways that I know she has picked up from other babies at daycare. She also blows kisses, which was something the teachers taught her how to do first. I also know that eventually the not so cute habits such as biting and hitting will come home as well, but that would happen eventually once she started school, anyways. Also, Olivia has started eating the school lunch this week, and boy that makes be really feel like I have a big kid and not a baby. She is loving it, and I am too, because it is one last thing we have to pack up for the day.
Life is not perfect and we still have great daycare days, and not so good daycare days. Overall though, we are currently in a very good place as a family.
ETA: It has also been a huge benefit to be close enough to the daycare to be able to visit and breastfeed everyday at lunch. In the 9 months that Olivia has been there I have only missed our lunch date a handful of times. I know our lunch dates will eventually come to an end when my visit is more disruptive than helpful, and when I'm no longer breastfeeding, but I have cherished our dates.
P.S.S.: There was a biting incident at daycare today. Olivia was not a victim nor the instigator, but for a split second I had reason to believe that she was the biter. Luckily, that was not the case. I know things like this are going to happen in a daycare environment, but in this instance one baby had been bitten but another baby twice in one day.
