The calmest and best part of my day is every evening, after dinner, after bathtime, after Olivia's jammies are on, when she and I lay down in bed together and I breastfeed her to sleep. No matter how tired I am, and no matter how much of a fight it was to get Olivia to go to sleep, the reward of cuddling with her while she sleeps makes up for it. This time that we have together makes any rough day good.
It's not always the same routine, sometimes Olivia is wired and she will nurse a little bit, and then roll around and talk some, and then come back to nurse for a couple of seconds, and then go back to playing, over and over again. Sometimes I will read Olivia a book or two, get up and rock her, walk her around telling the house goodnight, passing her off to Daddy for a turn and a go at wearing her down. Other times she will just lay next to me while she nurses, and watch me as I stroke her hair and her face, and I pat her chubby thighs and bottom. She will try and pick my nose, and fiddle with my hair or eyes until her own eyelids grow heavier and heavier until she is sleeping peacefully.
However we get there, the end result is always the same, and I'm laying there in bed looking at my beautiful baby girl nursing in her sleep; steadily breathing in and out. I wonder how the hell we made someone so perfect and so perfect for us.
We still have a certifiable baby on our hands, but lately while I've watched Olivia at play she makes very toddler like moves, and I get a lump in my throat. She now prefers walking to crawling, even though she gets wherever she is going much slower, and she usually falls a couple of times. That does not stop her, up she goes, especially when she is on a mission.
Olivia, slow down, please. I know you may be ready to grow up, your mommy is not.
