Vent: my baby is sick.

My baby is sick and I hate it.  I absolutely hate it.  I hate everything about her being sick right now.  I hate that her ear infection, albeit very mild, was discovered at her 6 month check up and neither one of us had any idea.  I hate that for the past 5 days Olivia has had a fever on and off.  I hate that I cannot be with her today comforting her while she isn't feeling 100%.  I hate that the medicine that we have been giving her hasn't seemed to be helping.  I hate that we took her back to the doctor on Saturday, and it still didn't make her feel better, or answer the question of why she is still sick.   I hate seeing the droopy eyes that my baby has when the fever gets a little bit higher.  I hate that we don't know what it is that is causing the fever. Teething? Ear Infection? Something else?  I hate that I "had" to give her Tylenol for the first time last night.  (More on that another day, maybe, maybe not.) I hate that she goes in and out of having energy and wanting to play to just wanting to put her head on my shoulder out of tiredness.  I hate that I hate that she is sick even though I know very well that babies do get sick.  But, truthfully, most of all I hate not being able to be there today to comfort her.

I can also go on about the ways that we are blessed.  We have be lucky enough to go 6 months before we have seen a fever in our baby.  I am extremely lucky to have a great parenting partner who has been there every step of the way for our little girls sicky time.  Except from about 1am to 5am last night when it was all me.  This was only fair because I was sick as a dog on Friday night and Dave had to take over 100% of the parenting responsibilities, minus the nursing.  We are fortunate that Gammie has been available and willing to watch our sick little one 2 of the 3 work days that we have needed her to.  We are also fortunate because although she is clearly sick, we have been able to comfort her and keep her a comfortable as we can.  We have also been blessed because we have still seen our happy baby on and off for the past 5 days, it has not been all misery.  We keep getting glimpses of our happy and energetic Olivia, and hope and wish that it has passed. 

However, it hasn't yet.  This sickness is still around.  I'm praying that it goes away soon.  I will be able to stay home with Olivia tomorrow if she still is not better.  I will also be able to take her back to the doctor in hopes that we can come up with some answers as to why she isn't better yet.