"I breastfeed."

Funny story. On Monday, it was our very first morning getting ready to send Olivia off to daycare. She had been with her with Gammie for 2 wonderful weeks, but now it was time to get into our real life daily routine. We prepared as much as we could the night before and just had to load up the car in the morning. "School supplies": check. Bottles: check. Extra outfits and bibs and pacifiers: check. Diapers??? Of course not. I totally forgot to pack diapers. Luckily, Dave and I were going over the list together as we were driving and we realized this before we were at her daycare.


Dave stopped at a nearby H.E.B. and ran in to get us a pack of diapers. Livy and I stayed in the car to cuddle some more. When Dave came back to the car he had a big ol smile on his face. I asked him what was up and he had a cute little story to share. He said that he was in a big rush picking the diapers and quickly paying for them that he left his receipt there with the cashier. The cashier tried to call after him and let him know that there were coupons for formula included with his receipt. Dave said that he didn't even turn around and said, "No thanks, I breastfeed!"

So, of course, Dave got a big kick out of being able to say, "I breastfeed", because he thinks that it sounds silly coming from a man. However, I was absolutely thrilled with this story because I felt like it was just another way David has been supportive in my breastfeeding journey.

Olivia enjoying a meal on our hike last weekend.

Learning to do something that I assumed would be the most natural thing in the world has been hard at times. From hearing about other women's struggles, my own experiences have been relatively smooth in comparison. I will say that I have been blessed with a husband who was so helpful in the beginning that I was able to push through any of the painful times and difficulties. He was there to tend to my needs while I was tending to our daughters needs and everything worked really well for us right from the beginning.  Along with Dave's help, I was also very determined to breastfeed, and thankfully so was Olivia. She knew exactly what to do and really helped me along the way as well.  I cannot express in words the bond I feel for Olivia, and I attribute much of that bond to our times spent breastfeeding.

So as usual whenever I find an interest or a desire to learn more on a subject I become fixated on it. These days I can't get enough information on breastfeeding. There are not enough forums and articles to keep me satisfied. I love reading about other women's breastfeeding experiences and about problems they have encountered along the way. I also love hearing success stories and women who have been able to overcome certain difficulties (i.e. latch issues, supply problems, or other medical issues.)

The funny thing is that after my first 2 weeks of breastfeeding Olivia I had come to the conclusion that I did not enjoy it. I was not sure whether I wanted to continue to breastfeed her. There were a ton of reasons that I started feeling this way. I became anxious about needing to breastfeed over the holidays when we would be doing a little bit of traveling, I was nervous about my ability to return to work and continue to breastfeed, I feared having to nurse in public, and I did not want to miss family socializing times because I needed to go breastfeed my baby. Also that dreaded thought kept creeping into my brain, "I was formula fed, and I am fine." With Dave's encouragement, I kept it up and we worked through any possible obstacles. Surprisingly, there haven't really been any obstacles to breastfeeding once I fully committed to it and decided that was what I was going to do.

My work and boss have all been very understanding of my need to pump a couple of times a day. I'm lucky to have my own office where I can close the door and blinds.  Now that Olivia is only a mile away from my work I am able to nurse her right before she goes to daycare if I need to, during my lunch hour, and when I pick her up. This means that she really only gets 2-3 bottles of breastmilk a day, if that. She will sometimes refuse the bottle and hold out until I'm able to nurse her. She likes it directly from the tap, what can I say?

So breastfeeding has become my passion of the moment.  I know that we still have a long journey ahead of us because Olivia and I have only been doing it for 10 weeks, and a number of issues can arise.  I fully intend on breastfeeding her for as long as I can and I'm hopeful at keeping this up.   

It amazes me that there is a community of breastfeeding momma's on the net that people can reach out to for support.  I have also come across some social and politcal issues that stand in the way of many mom's desire to breastfeed, and that irks me to no end.  I'm also irked by the judgment moms pass on each other, whether they decide to breastfeed or formula feed.  There are so many things for mothers to feel bad and guilty for already, that we don't need each other's help.  I feel that so long as a mom makes an educated decision to choose one way or another, and decide which will be best for her and her baby, we should not judge each other.  Every mom is raising their baby to the best of their ability and that should be celebrated.   Unless they aren't, then we should judge those moms...just kidding! Sort of...